Saturday, September 6, 2014

an interesting take on things.

Epilepsy, a guide to life, or cruelty? My thoughts regarding my life only. Well all. Looking back over my blog, you will see, or may not see, that there is a pattern to the most life changing of events. all of them, seem to be following seizures. The most recent, and most strange of them all, is that people, with whom I did not get on with at college, seem to be wanting to communicate with me now. Why is this? Is it because, they genuinely want to? or because they just would like to see me fall again… I decided to think about it. Strangely, before, and after a seizure, or shall we say, the three seizures I have had, strange events seem to happen. The fact, there may have been arguments with several people, but that may have been nothing, then, the seizure itself, but here’s the key thing, after them. Suddenly, those, who did not want to understand me, or support me, or help me, are wantting too? Is this epilepsy, showing itself, when ever, I am not seeing the fact, there are people out there, wanting to support me, to guide me, to help me, and it is making me learn the hard way? That way being, having a seizure and watching them all come rushing to your aid, then wondering why they are doing so? or feeling guilty about the fact you did not treat them how they are treating you at this period in time? So, I don’t know about you, but it’s certainly left me wondering. Is my epilepsy at least, making its appearances, when it’s most needed? to make people listen to reason they may not have previously, to make me understand there are people who care, and to make me feel more empathetic to those whom I previously did not feel empathy towards. I certainly, do wonder. If we want to personalize epilepsy, then we can certainly say the following. Sometimes, in some cases, yes, she is cruel, and rips our memories to shreds for the next five days, and yes, she does scare the living daylights out of our friends, family, and bystanders, sometimes takes lives, sometimes causes problems, a lot of them, but there are those few times, at least for me, where I feel it’s almost like a guidance, Look, there are people wanting to support you, to care, why can you not see this! They are putting on the front, the stigma, but inside, they care a lot. It’s deep in their heart, but they can’t show it, so I suppose in order for them to show it to you, I’ll have to force them, by being the catalyst for these events. Hope you all enjoy this read. Of course, I’m not defending epilepsy in any way, or saying it’s a good thing at all. I still, and will always continue to help, support, and have empathy for those who want it from me. Feel free to contact me, on samanthaash1993 on twitter. I’d love to hear from you…. :)